Ode to Caregivers and Woe to Mean Old People

Over five months ago, I had an opportunity to relieve a caregiver of her duties for two days. I jumped at the opportunity to earn some extra money and get out of my apartment and experience a change of scenery for a couple of days. I was told that the woman was easy to care for because she didn’t require heavy medical attention and she lived in Newport Beach. How difficult can that be right? NOT!

It was the most difficult 48 hours I had to endure! I walked in thinking, “I can care for an 85-year old woman. It should be a piece of cake.” This woman was anything but easy. She was verbally abusive and scolded me at every turn. I not only had to care for her, but also for her little dog. I love dogs, so I thought it would be fun, but this dog didn’t like anyone touching his mother! So he barked at me and bit me a couple of times when I stood up from my seat. I also walked him three times a day, which wasn’t so bad because it broke the monotony from being stuck in the house watching excessive television.

I had to sit there next to her while she watched t.v. and channel surfed for hours. If you’ve been following me at all, you know that I gave up watching television a couple of years ago and have written an article noting its evil effects on people. Yet there I was, being barraged by commercials, coma inducing dialog, and mindless chatter. Ugh!

Every move I made was scrutinized by this woman who controlled everything in her home, including how I washed dishes, opened the drapes, and what side of the stairs I walked down. Yes, you heard me right. She expected me to walk up and down the right side of the 10 foot wide stairs. If I didn’t, she would yell at me and get frustrated. She also didn’t like to see my water bottle on the kitchen table or on any table for that matter. Even if she was downstairs watching t.v. in the living room, she didn’t want it sitting on the kitchen table. She wanted everything done her way.

She was a sad and angry woman with a lonely and controlling soul. I could sense she had many demons. I was praying most of the time just to get through the days so I could endure her scolding and meanness. It took every ounce of the Fruit of the Holy Spirit and knowledge of the Bible not to react to her or break down. Deep down, I felt sorry for her because she didn’t know Jesus. She didn’t have peace or joy in her soul. She is a multi-millionaire in her own right after investing in real estate in Newport Beach for over 40 years. Plus she is an heiress to her parent’s millions; her father was a Hollywood Producer/Director from the 40’s and 50’s. All that money didn’t buy her happiness. She has only one granddaughter who hardly calls or visits. Yet this woman was a miser. She didn’t want anyone walking down the middle of her stairs because she didn’t want to wear out her carpet. When she found out that I recharged my phone in her house, she pointed her finger at me and told me never to do it again.

She had a bad hip and her knees were going bad from decades of playing golf, tennis, and horseback riding. She wears a pacemaker and can hardly walk up the stairs, yet she was concerned about trivial things that won’t matter tomorrow or after she is gone. 

Isaiah 3:11

Woe to the wicked! It shall be ill with him,
For the reward of his hands shall be given him.

There are three points I’d like to share from this experience.

1 - Whether you are young or old, being mean, nasty, and controlling is never good! 

For a while, I thought that people get meaner when they get older, especially after this experience, but meanness only comes from one place . . . the pit of Hell!  A critical haughty spirit that oppresses others is of the devil, no one else. This bullying spirit is strong and forceful and doesn’t listen to anyone. Once this spirit comes upon someone, it stays with them until they repent of their sins. Only Jesus Christ has the power to free someone from this revolting sin.

1 John 1:8-9

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Ephesians 4:31-32

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

2 - Caregivers are some of the hardest working people in the medical profession.

I have to give props to caregivers. They take care of sick people day in and day out, yet they are at the bottom of the pay scale when it comes to salary. They carry the brunt of the care and work by cleaning up urine and feces, feeding, bathing and personal care, and even heavy lifting if necessary. And if the patient happens to be mean and nasty, they have to take the abuse. They are yelled at, slapped, bitten by dogs, etc. On top of that, they don’t have the respect of the medical or administrative staff or the families of the patient. If you employ caregivers, be kind and thankful to them. They are underpaid and under appreciated. They deserve better!

3 - If you’re old, frail, sick, and mean, repent before it’s too late. 

God already has His eye on you and knows the number of your days. If you drive everyone around you crazy, it’s time to turn from your wicked ways. For some of you, God is calling you to Himself. For others, you are tied down by evil spirits holding you back. Break free from them before your time is up or they will be your permanent roommates.

Acts 3:19-21

Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that He may send Jesus Christ, who was preached to you before, whom heaven must receive until the times of restoration of all things . . .

I prayed for an opportunity to minister to this woman, but she was relentless in her scolding and anger, so I didn’t have a chance to share with her. I was so distressed up to the last moment I worked, that I couldn’t pull myself together to utter the words to her. My spirit was disturbed and shaken (it takes a lot to stress me out).

Psalm 7:11

God is a just judge, And God is angry with the wicked every day.

On my last night there it was very windy outside. I could hear the rustling of the trees outside my room as I was journaling on my laptop to calm myself from my horrendous experience. Suddenly, I heard someone walking on the floor above me. For a moment, I thought I was back at my apartment, because this was a familiar sound, but this was a one-story house that had multi-levels. At first I thought, it was the trees just brushing up against the roof, but it sounded and felt like footsteps. Then the footsteps continued to make its way to the wall behind me, like it was walking on walls. I felt a dark presence in the room. I knew immediately there were demons trying to scare and bother me. This continued for five more minutes. I could sense the evil in this house. I sensed it every time she yelled at me. There was a strong, dark, oppressive spirit living in that house. My presence and Bible reading probably made them angry.

I immediately turned on my audio Bible, to Psalms. I also prayed and asked for the Spirit of God to cover me and the bed I laid in. Moments later, the noises and the dark presence went away. I fell asleep with the audio Bible playing for several hours. This gave me peace and a restful sleep throughout the night. I couldn’t wait to leave that house in the morning.

A week later, the caregiver texted me that the woman asked for me to come back, but I declined. I haven’t returned since nor do I plan to.

God has far more patience and long suffering than me. He will give this woman more chances to heed His call, then her journey will reach an end.

Where will your journey end? 

Psalm 32:10

Many sorrows shall be to the wicked; But he who trusts in the Lord, mercy shall surround him.

1 John 5:12

He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.