How Matthew 19 Can Save Your Marriage, Part 2

God’s Perfect Will is that the two of you who have become one flesh should work out your differences and stay in the marriage. I know this is not easy and can be excruciating. You are living in darkness, despair, and deep loneliness. Your heart has been hardened over the years of being ignored, neglected, abused, and refused.

I was there … The mounting pain and loneliness was unbearable. Anything or anyone but this man could lessen the pain. I thought, “The only way out was divorce. Divorce will lessen the pain. Another man will make my life better … easier.”

NOT! This is a Big FAT Lie! 
The only way out of the pain and despair is Jesus. He is the way, the truth, and the life. Through Him … there is freedom, through Him … there is hope. Through Him … your marriage could be healed. Both you and your spouse have to be committed to Him. Then commit to seeking Him in prayer daily. Seek Him out. This is the shortened/edited version of the way out of darkness.

Establishing My Viewpoints
One of the reasons God wanted me to have clear doctrinal viewpoints on Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage is because I am in a leadership position whether I like it or not.

Although I have not been active with both of my blogs due to working on other projects, I have been active behind the scenes praying, fasting, and giving Scriptural advice to both single and married women. My one article, “7 Ways To Know If You Are In A God Ordained Relationship” has kept me busy with a plethora of emails from both men and women asking for my advice. 

The situations and marital woes I am praying for are sobering. Although I was clear about being Virtuous and waiting for God’s ideal mate, I was not yet clear about my own stand on Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage … until now. 

My Previous Viewpoints:

• I had two options for marriage: 1) Stay with my current spouse; 2) Divorce my spouse and remarry another.
• I could divorce and remarry without consequence or judgement.

The scriptures about divorce, adultery, and remarriage were not on my radar. I was ignorant to gravity of these scriptures and did not live my life in submission to them.

My Current Viewpoints:

• God created Marriage … He created the first marriage ceremony between Adam and Eve.
• God hates divorce.
• He never intended His children to divorce. 
• He gave Moses permission to grant divorce to the Israelites because of their hardened hearts, but really didn’t want that to be the standard for marriage.
• When Jesus came, He turned the law upside down and made it more stringent. In the case of divorce, He was trying to show everyone that divorce should not be in the minds and hearts of His people. It is only there in case of an emergency. 
• Divorce due to sexual immorality is the only loophole out of marriage.
• The unfortunate truth is that it has been a way out of a hard and difficult situation for many and an excuse to leave their marriages.
• So if adultery in the form of sexual immorality took place during the marriage, divorce is permissible, but not always God’s perfect will.
• God has a permissive will, but prefers you to follow His perfect will.
• God’s laws about marriage apply to Non-Christians. If they divorce prior to being saved, God still sees their previous marriage as valid.
• Remarriage to someone else while your spouse is still alive is adultery.
• God wants marriage to be between one man and one woman for life.
• Both the guilty and innocent party of adultery are not permitted to marry another person because this is considered adultery.
• Divorced men and women should not remarry until their spouse has passed away.
• There are two options for marriage: 1) stay married to your spouse; 2) Divorce, but stay single for the rest of your life or until your spouse passes away.
• Death is the only way to dissolve a marriage.
• I won’t say whether you should seek a divorce like some leaders/pastors are upholding, but you must seek God’s instruction on how to get right with Him in His eyes. Go to Him in prayer and fasting. Seek His face and His will for your life.
• If you are in a threatening marriage that continuously harms you emotionally and physically, seek refuge in God and separate from your spouse for a time ... until God instructs you to 
• Separation is not divorce.
• Do not covet or engage in communication with a divorced man. He is married in God’s eyes.
• Do not seek to marry a divorced man.
• If you are a divorced woman and your spouse is still alive, do not seek to remarry until God dissolves your marriage.

People who get divorced without Scriptural merit or divine permission and remarry will not only suffer the consequences of their actions, but must know they are actively committing adultery. Whether or not they will lose their inheritance as a result remains to be seen. Based on the 2 Corinthians 6:9-10, this is a sober reminder that adulterers have no part in the Kingdom of God.

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. —2 Corinthians 6:9

I know this all looks too stringent and black and white, but it's based on Biblical truth.  And at the same time this may seem elementary to some Christians, but the revelation of this passage has only become real to me now. I'm sure many Christians fall into this category. As a result, many of them marry, divorce, and remarry not realizing there are major consequences. They fall in love first then check the marital status afterwards. They fall into attraction, get physical, then figure out if the person is a valid Christian afterwards. Most of the time, they don’t mind if the person is divorced or separated. This skewed form of dating and falling in love is the reason people get into the relational mess they are currently in. Their hearts and bodies are tangled with people they have no business being involved with. They walk in total disobedience to God and wonder why they are facing heartache, financial collapse, health problems, drama, etc. Afterwards, they seek advice and prayer after they are already deeply entrenched in relational chaos.

Imagine what the world would look like if married couples stayed together and sought God to heal their marriages. And if single people fully understood the permanence of marriage. They would carefully and soberly consider their choices. The divorce rate wouldn’t look like it does. Remarriage would be rare because only widows and widowers would be seeking marriage. This world is turned upside down by the sin of divorce and remarriage.

Because of these new viewpoints, I am no longer seeking remarriage to another man as I have stated in past articles. This is considered adultery in the eyes of God. I am going to continue living in celibacy until God changes my marital status.

Although my life is not ideal and I deal with the reminder of my mistake every time I say goodbye to Charlie and not see him for two to three days at a time, I am living in peace. Surprisingly, I am happy doing the work I was called to do. I walk in the certainty that I am cherished, valued, and accepted. Daily, I abide in the center of God’s Will because this is the safest place to be. I don’t face drama or turmoil from being in the wrong relationship that will inevitably end because of carnality or disobedience. I consider myself blessed and lucky to have a wonderful son and enough activities to fill my days. God has filled my spirit and heart with joy and thanksgiving regardless of my singleness. I don’t experience loneliness anymore because I know I am loved with an everlasting love. He has given me hope and a future. I am still hopeful of where God is leading me. I anticipate and look forward to new adventures that go beyond what is right in front of me.

I hope to help others land on this imperfect yet fulfilling island. It won't happen by accident nor will it come with the constant state of looking for another to complete them.

Here is a Playlist of eye opening videos on my Youtube channel that are great resources to keep you from making permanent life changing mistakes. If you take the time to listen to these, you will have a transformed heart!

Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage Playlist

What You Can Do
If you feel led to pray and do something about your current situation, please stay tuned. In the New Year, I am going to make an announcement to help you. 

Although I am no marriage expert after my own failed marriage, I am dutiful in sharing my experiences and wisdom with others who are willing to listen. As you have read, God has brought me to a place of repentance and clarity from my past mistakes. I know now what I did wrong and what I could have done differently. Being virtuous and waiting are not the only points of reference I have to share.

I am also very passionate about saving and praying for marriages because I believe it is the cornerstone of Christ’s Church and ultimate bride. Broken marriages and families are not part of God’s will. God detests divorce and has clearly stated this in His Word.

I believe it’s time to pray and fast at this critical time in the lives of hundreds if not thousands of families on the verge of collapse. It is time for both men women who are living in active adultery to pray and fast for guidance.

Join our Fast and Pray on December 15^th through the 18^th 2014. 

You are welcome to join me and my prayer team in prayer and fasting regarding your situation. We do cyclical fasts monthly, so you can join us when you feel led to. Feel free to email me and send me your name and a brief description so our team can include you in our prayers.

Please share this article with others and help me in promoting this information and getting it into the hands of the men and women who need it..

It is my sincere hope and prayer that this article has enlightened you and will help you make wise decisions in your life regarding marriage, divorce, and remarriage. Apart from deciding to follow Jesus, who we marry is the second most significant decision we make in our lives. Choose wisely, because marriage is for life whether you like it or not. God placed that man or woman in your path for a reason … not a season, but for a lifetime. You don’t know what God can do and how He will orchestrate your life for His purposes and glory. Heed His Word and His Spirit. You will be wiser and happier for it. You will also fulfill His purpose for your life.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for prayerfully sharing this with others.

Stay tuned and email me if you are interested in seeking help and prayer to get right with God in your current situation. 
My email: nina.virtuous@gmail.com

Other related articles:

7 Ways To Tell If You Are In A God Ordained Relationship

Marriage Was God's Idea

Why I Stopped Dating: Confessions of a Serial Dater

Visit: www.virtuousforlove.com
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